Khaki and Norm – Public Toilet


In a standard town, not too far but very far if you are German, Khaki and Norm are standing next to a public toilet. They have been standing here for 3 and a half point 3.8 per second minutes. Next to them is Herman, who is very naughty. And I mean naughty, with a capital N, see that capital N, that’s just how naughty he is. Don’t you get that? Norm enters the public toilet; close by Herman follows. Norm begins to take a piss, standing close by Herman watches on in disbelief scratching away with excitement on his belly button. Norm begins to feel uneasy, Herman wonders if Norm has noticed him peeking.


Norm: You’re gay. Fuck off. Go home!


Herman: Dude, chill. I’m no Riyini. I’m the opposite.


Norm: So what you’re saying is that you’re the opposite of straight, which is gay.


Herman: No! I mean yes. I mean, please don’t judge me. I don’t like it.  




Khaki is standing outside, kicking a can. Bored.


Returning back to the story…


Herman is lying dead on the floor, in a pile of his own blood and sweat, and a picture of Oikinder Riyini at his sweet sixteen party.


Norm: That’s sorted. No problem there. Except for that CCTV camera, in a public toilet, pointing down, exactly towards where people take a piss. Hey, CCTV it wasn’t me! It was him. That guy, over there.


CCTV: Okay. I believe you.


Norm: Thanks, old buddy, old pal! Now that I’m cleared I should get on with my life.


CCTV: If you had a life.


Norm: Are you insulting me?


CCTV: What makes you think that?


Norm: …


CCTV: What’s 2 + 2?


Norm: …Yeah well I didn’t come here to do business!


CCTV: You don’t know do you?