Our pilot story...
The Miss-Adventures of - Khaki and Norm
Chapter 1- A bullet-point
One day in a canteen not to far away but quite far if you live in Scotland or just about near if you are Scottish. Khaki and Norm are working in ‘Burgers “R” Us’ they work for some guy named George Rhea. Khaki takes a break while Norm continues his shift. Khaki decides to eat at ‘Burgers “R” Us’.
“Do you have any mustard?” asks Khaki
“Yes.” Norm replies
“Can I have some?” Khaki asks
“What? What can you have some of?”
“Mustard”
“Yes. We have mustard.”
“Can I have some?”
“Can I have some?” Khaki asks
“What? What can you have some of?”
“Mustard”
“Yes. We have mustard.”
“Can I have some?” Khaki asks
“What? What can you have some of?”
“Mustard”
“Yes. We have mustard.”
“Can I have some?” Khaki asks
“What? What can you have some of?”
“Mustard”
“Yes. We have mustard”
“Khaki! You’re breaks over!” Shouts George.
“Uhh…okay”
Khaki goes back to his shift but on the way he looks on the floor and finds a 5p coin it reminds him of his old pal Omega David Sherman and his friend Oikinder Riyini, it brings a tear to his eye cause he left them for death in a well, not just any well…the well of no return. (Dramatic instrumental music playing in your head, think of Jaws)
Now, it is Norms turn to take a break, he asks Khaki which restaurant he went to.
“I went to see ‘Burgers “R” us’ it was a very profiting and professional outing. I also got some free walking talking mega pixel animated unrealistic profiting money making coffee breaking Tetley tea making and the end of life sunglasses (Your brain goes “Oohhhh” in an admiring way. But sub-human. Such noise should make Oikinder Riyini look human another tear comes to your face/eyeballs/other stuff/ pupils)”
“Cool, I’ll go to see this Burgers R Us.” Norm says.
Norm stands first in line to order from Khaki, but this isn’t no normal order he wants the number 11
“Eh, I want a number 11” says Norm
“Would you like some fries with that?” Khaki
“Did I ask for some fries? Retard.” Says Norm
“Breaking news the first number 11 is about be eaten/digested at ‘Burgers “R” Us’ this would be the first attempt for 52 years 345 days 13.2 hours 7.1 minutes and 13.7 seconds the last person who tried this was rumored to have suffered from depression after reaching course 10 of the number 11 order and fainted this would make HISTORY and I Duke P London would witness it yeah I am great whoo yeah yeah yeah whoo”
Chapter 2 – As Proud As Punch
As the species called Humans entered ‘Burgers “R” Us’ Norm gets his knife and fork out and puts on his blue/dark blue/light blue/natural blue/organic blue napkins or bib on as course 1 of the number 11 arrives to his serving or presences he looks up astonished at what he may achieve he may win a Oscar or best supporting eater.
The first course 3 cup cakes 2 bananas and 3 ½ decimals of pure organic dehydrated uncomfortable unconvincing animated un-mega pixel floppy driving scanning mouse irritating Ogunyinkaing porridge pie with a hint of vinegar but not too much but enough a sour but rewarding taste.
Norm begins by picking up 1 banana and 2 cup cakes ½ a decimal of pure organic dehydrated uncomfortable unconvincing animated un-mega pixel floppy driving scanning mouse irritating Ogunyinkaing porridge pie with a hint of vinegar but not too much but enough a sour but rewarding taste. He then smashes them all together while putting his big demented lips all over it, and leaving only 1 crumb (big enough to see, but not noticeable to see from 10 yards away) on the left-hand size of his moustache.
Then with great might he takes the remaining food that is present on the plate and scoffs it down him like it was never there, but unfortunately it was. Then he opens his jaws/mouth/teeth place/gob and breathes out and then lets out a big belch/burp. (You, the audience clap quietly like you’re at a golf match.) He looks uneasy. His right eyebrow out of position.
He looks at Khaki with a proud grin. Almost as proud as punch. Course two is now being served. It smelled like a blue birds behind (you may question; how do I know this?) The course arrives 5.9 seconds late with gathering audience getting irritated but the course arrives blazing hot chicken tikka Mazola curry with a hint of Marco and juvenile oat. This is perhaps the most disturbing dinner he has ever had, but he knows deep down he has to do it for him-self and his life long crush Leslie de Natalie. Who he has never had a decent conversation with, whatsoever. (You feel great pity for this poor soul, but you cheer him for his bravery.)
Norm begins part 2 of the course. He looks relieved, then he dumps his face into the plate, without warning. Then after just seconds the course has gone. He is heartburn. (Or Heart-broken.) AND then out of the mist appears a man form down a well…
Omega David Sherman.
(You’d expect Omega to be mad at Norm for leaving him for death, but he is not)
Followed by his co-star/mentor/helper/burden/assistant/chief/constable/comnmander/Norien Rasa/head of the committee…
Oikinder Riyini
(You applause him)
Oikinder removes his hand from his pocket and clenches his hand into a fist then moves it forward. Norm is not sure why. Then Norm suspects it is a safety sign. Then he gives him his RESPECT. This shows discipline and loyalty. Like to best chums.
Oikinder begins to talk to Omega; they both discuss Khaki and Norm’s character traits.
“You know Norm, don’t you? What’s he like?” Oikinder asks.
“Well…he like football enjoys annoying people…He loves fat food but is not fat himself, likes getting the better of people and is very awkward. He also enjoys Banta with the locals/public of Britain.” Omega replies.
“You know Khaki, don’t you? What’s he like?” Omega asks.
“Well he’s four pounds over-weight, he’s a Bat-Aholic.”
“What’s a Bat-Aholic?”
“Huge fan of anything to do with BATS. Such as Batman or The Sun newspapers”
“Okay, anything else?”
“Yeah, he loves food, is extremely cheap, doesn’t care much about allot of people, has crush on a girl that doesn’t like him her names Naomi Patrimony (a hot girl from his school) and I’ll leave it at that.”
“I’m going go talk to him”
“No, don’t do that! He smells like a dead gym sock in August the 28th”
Norm awaits his third course. He gets Broccoli, mushy peas and gravy. Lord Far-quad the fifth and most likely but not certainly the last, enters the restaurant. With unparallel socks and a recognizable beard. Lord Far-quad stands and watches on as Norm begins course 3 of 11. Norm takes the food into his hand without fear, he then stands up and shouts;
“LOOK AT ME!! TO IN-BROCOLLI AND BEYOND! YAH! TRICK YAH!”
And the next thing we know, Norm has stuffed everything down his throat. This is beginning to look like a very successful and profiting day.
12.23pm (A.K.A lunchtime, but not for you another finishing of this story awaits) and it was time for course four. Norm did not look good, but knew deep down he had no choice. He had to this. Not just for himself, not just for an Oscar…but for Oikinder Riyini, Omega David Sherman, Lord Far-quad and his good friend Khaki.
As the course came out a huge smell appeared out of nowhere. Oikinder Riyini was a former soldier of naval base in Moscow and a former leader/president of a cheap local unpromising mega pixel unbarring fully engine uninspiring Noreen razes western eastern the mother tongue not end of lifetime but lose to a steady but near end cake store. (This may have been a pointless exercise but at least it got you thinking.)
Course 4 contained a damaging course:
2 cheeseburgers, mozzarella sticks, chicken tenders, bacon, jalapeno poppers, French fries, mayo, hot sauce and lemon.
…all in one sandwich
(You’re brain may or might or is required/needed to say “Oooh” not a long “Oooh” but not a long “Oooh” just enough to make your brain tingle)
Norm looks UN-easy and dejected as he picks up the sandwich which I wont name because of legal tender reasons and because it is too long to write out again.
Chapter 3 – Norm, a packet of chips and bit of spice and needle
Norms looks at the sandwich for 32.9 ½ seconds perhaps 33 if you are lucky or precise; then he tries to intimidate the sandwich by calling it names such as;
Oikinder Riyini (Perhaps the ultimate insult)
Now he thinks/knows the sandwich is smaller and more vulnerable, he begins to dig in and straight away zee hot source went in Oikinder Riyini’s fat glasses and made him give out a big yarrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Norm does not apologize, instead he continues his course although deep down he knows he should apologize he’s not going to…there is way too much pride at stake. And his reputation will be scared/dented/destroyed/nailed/humiliated/trashed/forbidden/crippeled/false to submit/surrendering due to the lack of encouragement from his peers.
As he bits in to the sandwich of all sandwiches (for you the audience (our fans/the public/the media/and the pretzel) mightiest sandwich in the world, but just the world the universe and not just the universe either the galaxy, and not just the galaxy, the milky way and not even that far, past the northern lights.) his mouth watering over the sandwich, but not good water, bad water…but you can imagine it as good water.
Because this course is so long, we are not going to bother decrypting it/acknowledging what happened, but he did finish it, just after passing out for 15.2 ½ but perhaps even 2.9 ¼ minutes. This course is indeed finished.
(Suspenseful instrumental music submitting your background)
Course 5 arrives.
Bulldog gravy and biscuits with toxic/tonic waste material. (You feel tremendous pity for this poor soul, but I do not…so I will remove his pride as much as punch.
Regards,
S.V)
Norm is astonished at course 5. He thinks; Heaven help me…bulldog gravy and biscuits with toxic/tonic waste material.
(However unknown to his safety/well-being there is a needle inside his course/meal. You may care about him, so why don’t you hide behind the sofa from a safe and reliable distance, but not too far…just enough for you to be able to read this still. Now behind the sofa take out your warlike material and shout;
No Norm! Don’t do it!
Despite he cannot hear you; at least you looked like a retard. L.O.L (Laugh out loud, for those of you unknown to this text language))
Norm takes the wildcard, I mean course into his blender, which he just happened to have in his pocket(s)
“What a coincidence” Khaki says as he plucks his moustache.
He then blends the gravy and removes the substance then dumps everything into his mouth, without realizing he has a needle in it.
(Dramatic music in your head)
Norm then drinks the course, without noticing/spotting/indulging/identifying/DNA sampling of subject/mechanism the needle. The needle falls deep into his throat, but that deep just the deepest part of his throat. He tries to swallow it, but he’s too late. It is not the end of Norm. He begins to choke…will he make it? I bet you’re wondering. (Don’t worry, he may die in Chapter 11, there is a 51% chance he will, but you have to wait, for our great finale I hope, as this is so re-insuring.)
Khaki gets a front row seat, and takes some butter scotch pudding to enjoy what he hopes will be the death of Norm. Khaki notices the hot young female beside him, and then moves his hand towards her behind parts/her squishy cheeks. The woman looks at him with a horrid/shocked way, she slaps him so hard, he accidentally knocks Norm’s back and makes the needle squirt (like a flying hen from Arnica) out of Norm’s throat. Norm turns round in an attempt to thank Khaki, in a way only he knows best: a firm handshake/controlled handshake. This shows a sign of respect, loyalty and dignity and self – reservations. Khaki’s response is:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 4 – But is it art?
“Breaking news, Course 6 is about to start. More than half way there, Norm looks determined. No, he looks on edge, no wait he looks uneasy, and no wait he looks…I have no idea what he looks.”
Course 6, is being supplied to Norm and his plate/area/personal space/his private property. Course 6 defined a new meaning to “I can’t look is it over?”
Course 6 is Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch Dressing and some vinegar (always add vinegar it is the secret to a bad meal.) Norm looked on edge, he looks comfortable (the change of tense helps confuse the reader)
“Is this real food?” Norm asks
“You know, that reminds me of a joke. Then again…everything reminds me of a joke.” Khaki states/said/says/replies/responds/co-responds/
Norm began his devastating course, but before he could begin a photographer paused Norm and took a picture for the evening news. Khaki looked at the photographer, she had big chest parts. Khaki licked his lips, and moved forward without hesitation. Then he tripped over and fell into the woman’s chest parts. She looked shocked and pulled Khaki up, who had his hands squeezing her chest parts.
“Oh…thank you! I could have hurt myself if it weren’t for these.” Khaki thanks her.
The female photographer smacked Khaki with great force that he landed behind another hot woman who was wearing a skirt. Khaki likes women who were wearing a skirt, he stood and pulled out long stick he just happed to have in his pocket and began to use the stick to pull her skirt up and then began looking what he saw underneath.
“Oooh, ahhhhh, eeee, ahhhhhh” these were the strange noises that came from Khaki as he enjoyed his art. But is it art?
Norm begins to dig in to hisweapon of mass construction with the force then as he believes this is his offspring he states/claims/indulges/Noreen Razes/Against Oikinder Bookbinder Riyini/pro-claims/admits/and willing to tell that weapon of mass construction:
“I am you’re father.” With a sinister grin, tilted to the left, but may’be the right. Perhaps there is no tilt at all.
As he digs into the weapon of mass construction he lifts his right hand which has the sandwich in it he has it 3cm away from his jaw and 89 degree angle in the palm/figure of his thing with fingers. He inhales the aroma and absorbs it down deeply into his lungs with sheer force but very intelligently. He then puts the weapon of mass contusion into his mouth and trembles at the taste of it his face goes really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really
Pure slicing red raw. He lets it linger in his gob. He then swallows deeply but accidentally touching his throat. (You may wonder something strange, but I ask you; is it art?)
There is a small interlude (break) between the meals, the rest of the course will resume in 1 hour and 2 seconds with 6 decimals.
Khaki and Norm go out-side in an odd fashion way (like Oikinder Riyini’s first dramatic/dangerous/intelligent/recited/gathered/Noreen Rasa/profiting/rewarding/priceless (with everything else there’s MasterCard) no refunds available. Khaki and Norm go to their friends (Robert Dimension the second and hopefully the profiting end of him) to play with his new advanced epic mega pixel fully functioning no batteriessupplied/power needed helping global warming and echo friendly robot roomer (this is propaganda)
When they get into the house of all houses (you the audience, yes you, you goof-ball do nothing but continue to read) they forget to take their shoes off which leads to a brutal fight between Khaki and Norm for no real reason just who should take their shoes off first, this my friend is a battle of pride, dignity and justice (and for your good friend Oikinder Riyini.) The fight is epic, it’s breath-taking and in the end all that’s left is blood, sweat and a de-moralized/paralys community. A tragic ending to a tragic day.
But this is not the end of Khaki and Norm, no, no, no. And
NO!!!!!!!
Khaki walks toward the telephone, which lies on the desk. (By the way Khaki has a 4 millimetresscratch across the eye and with length of 6.5 decimals scratch near his right thigh) he then turns to Norm.
“Hey Norm, lets like do a prank call or something like that.”
“Uh, okay, but only if we blame Oikinder.” Norm replies.
“K.”
Khaki picks up the phone, then immediately begins running and laughing as he thinks he has fulfilled his destiny. Norm looks at Khaki and says:
“You did it!”
“Yeah!”
“Lets do it again!”
But this time he does it with sheer force and purpose like he has seen OkinawaRiana indulging his scent. He picks up the phone and dials a number. He has reached the Robot/Aroma Help line Etc.
“Hello, who is this?” asks the Receptionist.
“Uh, my name is…” Khaki is lost as he has forgotten his name. Norm then whispers;
“Don’t tell them our real names.”
“My name is Norm” says Khaki
“And my name is Khaki” says Norm
“And what’s your name ma’am?” asks Khaki
“Sheila, sir Ms. Sheila Hopkins. But you can call me Sheila, just Sheila. So how can I help, just help?”
“We’re like in trouble, and this is like a prank call. So we just did a prank you. HA HA HA HE HO AH HA with slice of gravy.”states Khaki.
“Very good, sir. I can hook you up with a psychiatrist if you like?” Replies Sheila.
“No way. You aren’tgoing to hook me up with some dude!” Shouts Norm.
“No, sir. This one has B.O like me.”RepliesSheila
“You’re messed up” says Khaki (To Sheila)
“Yeah. Who admits they have B.O?” says Norm
“Hey, Norm I Have B.O” says Khaki. Of Course this may just be an opinion.
Later….
Khaki and Norm return to Burgers R Us. Where Norm continues The NUMBER 11!
Course 7 is being served/delivered/ordered/given to Norm. It contains;
Sardines, Pizzas, grilled cockroaches, lizard flavoured noodles, runner beans, Oikinder Riyini’s sweaty socks and mild mannered photos.
Norm digs in to the seventh course (its called course of unknown. This course is not known to man) He looks at while he digs in to the course and whips away his sweat (Oikinder Riyini passes him his sweat Bandagalemasked sweatband he found round his aunt STEVIES house tramp)
After several courses…Norm finally reaches Course 10 of 11.
Course 10 of the deadly 11 was very cunning organizes purpose archivestructured immense as proud as punch ( please refer to chapter 2) 2 slices of out of date cheese from South Timbuktu, with 13 chips made from 2004 the date was printed as below:
Expires: 13/07/04
Chapter 5 – For What It Is…
Course 10 is called: Out of duty. This is a real name from the harvest festival of 2001 back in Paris/France/A country not in Britain but not to far from Dover but may’be far if your a seagull of a duck/pigeon searching for Arnica or Oikinder Riyini when he was down zee well but not any well the well of no return. Do you remember? Of course you remember.
Several un-misguiding zee words later…
Norm is half way trough course 10 and he is struggling beyond imagination. He looks very un-consistent. Then Norm looks like he’s about to faint but he doesn’t, he continues. Then just when you zee thought he had zee life in him…zee disaster happens.
A gang of perhaps 3 or 9 crooks enter (actually zee 4/3/9) enter zee premises. Without zee permission of zee staff. Zee crooks hit Norm in zee ribs with zee bat of all base-ball bats.
Several punches later…
Norm is lying on the floor in the pile of his own blood. He puts his arm up to show he still zee fighting spirit with-in him. Which came from his great great granddaughter…zee mighty un-human but relatable species of organic fresh country life butter…her name Rum Chum who likes drinking zee Rum. (A bit of poetry never hurt anyone)
Norm is then taken to Hospital where on news he has been shown to have surrendered eating the Order 11. Then a man named Cantle comes in from nowhere and beats Norm right arm down is serious injury and breaks it into 5 different parts. Leaving Norm fighting for his life (you shred/drop a tear) in intensive care.
Meanwhile…Khaki is kidnapped/gagged/fritted by Cantle and his posies. Oikinder follows in an attempt to rescue Khaki, but gets kicked in the ribs so hard his heart could feel it within the force of his gravy legged boots he brought from a tracking shop in North Hampton shire. Near a football ground called Carol Advisory Road. Omega advises Oikinder that it is too late, but Oikinder runs like the wind, gets on his four wheeler bike and pedals to save Khaki. But then he realizes he needs a bigger vocative/method of transport which is quicker than his four-wheeler, even though he loves his four-wheeler mechanism.
He threatens a taxi driver with his breath. Even though the taxi driver comes out without hesitation, Oikinder still breathes on him. Leaving the taxi driver wounded on the pavement in his own pile of blood, with a disfigured face.
Oikinder to zee rescue!
…of all missions.
...
(Do you the audience/public/crowd/our fans (thank you!)/the nationals/the people from different/alternative galaxies feel involved?)
“Breaking news, on channel 6 live at 6 on air at 6 with me Leon Minter, the AustralianEnglish but half Russian personals. A person named Oikinder Riyini who is very important and crucial to you and good great dictator who solves visual and muscle posture problems has been taken to intensive care next to Norm. After being hit by a Lorry that was full of petrol and dynamites. Alongside liquid bombs, with one or two rubber chickens with a 2% scribbled/squirrel (I used to have a pet squirrel named Dug DIVADONE he died when I looked at him, lol) stuffing’s. This is the 6’o clock news, so buckle up.”
Chapter 6 – A Radio-Transplant OF Horror and Anticipation with unit-climbing chemical paints
To skip the important stuff…Khaki successfully escaped, and killed those who kidnapped him/or injured him in any specific way (I’m not talking about anything personal…)
Khaki with evil intentions in mind (I’m sure) goes to the hospital to visit Oikinder and Norm, who have finally woken up. Khaki removes the gun from his pocket and thinks;
Should I be doing this? Should I be doing this?! No! I will kill not Norm. I mean I will kill Norm, and Oikinder just for the fun of it. YES! Death is coming. I will be victorious, I will blame everything on Omega David Sherman the fifth. Evil. Bad. Naughty. Useless.
Extinct! Just for fun. Signifying nothing…
As Khaki enters the room, sweat makes him uneasy, but not his sweat. Oikinder Riyini’s sweat. Khaki asks:
“Hi, Norm how’s it hanging? Blood.”
“I’m fine, Khaki.” Replies Norm.
“NO. You’re NOT!” shouts Khaki as he gets his six inch blade out along with his gun. And shoots Norm and stabs Oikinder (both die immediately) and runs, for a clean escape.
Minutes/Seconds/Anagrams later…
“Breaking news, well not so breaking. A brutal murder in North Ham piton shire has taken place where two hospital patients were killed. One was gunned down and the other was stabbed. We now cut live to the scene where police are giving a most efficient statement.”
The Major police officer says: “Hello my name if office P.CCornel Roger Jenkins of Tetley’s. I have came to zee most major decision in r planets existence I or me and my work mates fink dotdinosaurskilledOikinder Riyini and prom I mean Norm yeah, Norm…thank you.” (Yes, I know there are some mistakes but this cornel you see is a bit of a spasm.)
As the world with zee shocking developments one scientist Bret Ferris had to say the evidence saying that a dinosaur killed these two normal human but I think this was murder. Now, one man, will do the impossible. He will take the blame, in honour of the dinosaur (note: this is actually a dinosaur fossil that scientist believe killed Norm and Oikinder Riyini.
Omega David zee Sherman, jumps into the crime scene and says:
“Nay sir! It was I! I that killed these two. Not the dinosaur bones. Arrest me. I did it.” (GASP!)
Bret Ferris, enters from a camera in Poland and not so clearly says:
“As you can zee that dinosaur bones would not killed zee humans who as you can zee are dead zee and from my knowledge and your knowledge there are clearly only 2 real living created suspects one Omega David Sherman or Noreen Southward Jade Light For Brains Mega Pixel Illustration Noreen Rasa. So in this highly concluded conclusion Omega killed zee humans. I think.”
Omega is arrested and this case is closed, despite there being no real evidence.
As the police question Omega in a interview room.
“Do you sir carry a packed lunch box?”
“..error, no…yes, sir mama”
“Was that a yes or a no?”
“Not sure?”
“Can you please answer yes or no!”
“Well show off officer what do you want me to errors say chum are you Oikinder Riyini in disguise (a very insulting thing the most)”
“I am lost at what you are saying, please tell me if you carry a packed lunchbox or not?”
“I will let you in on zee truth of the box which is packed, for lunch you see it ain’t packed lunch. It should be called lunch in a packed booze (He means “Box”) zee”
“You spasm. To the cell.”
Meanwhile back at Burgers R Us. Omega’s wife enters and the whole room goes quiet…
“Excuse me I’m looking for David Omega Lionize Sherman.”
“Who is zee asking?”
“I am have you got a problem withthat” replies Omega’s wife.
“Err no sir I mean maam”says one of zee waiters
Khaki comes down stairs and takes a peek at omegas wife and starts getting sexual
“Hello goes Khaki with great effect and enthusiasm” says ________________
“Omegas wife looks around and walks to towards zee Khaki” (by zee way all this is being spoken by an observer, a close friend of Omega. His name is Beetroot Jr.)
Without warning/fear/intelligence/without further notice to members of staff/public/community Khaki leaps/jumps/gallops/asserts/preaches/indulges himself forward as he implants his body parts/gentle areas into (note, not saying the exact words makes it seem extremely erotic) as Khaki goes into Omega’s wife’s hand. She in turn slaps Khaki into another dimension. Where he sees Norm’s ghost.
“Where am I?” asks Khaki
“I am the ghost Norm of Normandy….woo…are you scared?” says Norm’s ghost.
“Oh shut up! You’re not fooling anyone…Omega’s wife”
“But I am his ghost. Woo, BOO!”
“Scream, gasp, no.” Khaki sarcastically says.
Chapter 7 – Norm and Riyini; is it art?
Khaki notices an exit to the alternate dimension, however this exit has a guard. Khaki approaches this guard.
(Note the rest of this story or chapter I will put in script form, or perhaps I will stop somewhere between or may’be I won’t or perhaps I will, we will see)
Graphic Tablet
Khaki: Does this exit bring me back to the world I came from, before I was pounded into this difficult challenging semi skimmed milk digital camera pompouspropaganda dimension with out meaning?
Guard: Yes, but we must have some basic knowledge of you. First of, I need letter from your third aunt, fifth cousin, and your oldest dog Potlatch the 2nd. Also you must past some very simple and basic not-complicated fruity-vicious fat boy Sander tasks. Do you confirm/reprint?
Khaki: (looks down, and thinks: will I ever get out of this?
I will do this!
I will DO this!
Cause I AM….
…(drum roll, please)
KHAKI!!
For my uncle Wilfred, who I also left down a well of no return back in the 18th Century in Guam! He, ho HA he.
(By the way, you can stop the drum roll now.)
Guard: I take it you accept then?
Khaki: Yes (with a face almost as proud as punch)
Khaki hands the letters over and asks what the first task is.
Guard: I need YOU NO, IN FACT I DEMAND YOU TO wrestle two not straight human like hyenas.
Khaki completes this task, detail:
Khaki takes on hyena one with fear in his right eye but left nostril he ain’t breathing to good and then a violent tail whip to his rib cage knocks him to the floor. Then he sees red and he stands up and uses his old pals Oiknder Riyini’s secret weapon: he stole he breath. He lets out the destructive massacre of Riyini breath which knocks both hyenas out and makes the crowd (you) go wild and suffer of B.O.
Khaki: How many tasks left?
Guard: Six.
Khaki: You what?
Guard: I what?
Khaki: Nothing. Nothing
(Khaki breathes directly, and bravely starts to ask what his next task is.)
The next task is clearly told by the guard;
Guard: Have a debate about cake, and you must emerge victorious. You are debating against the master of debaters GregoryLucifer.
Gregory: You sir, will not win against my mighty spotty doom of pimps with redness.
Khaki: Look at him and puts zee bad breath of his back into his gob which is were all of zee junk food goes after a late night out though zee one de only his uncle stew who he left down a well after a massive food fight between him and zee herd of buffalos.
Gregory: Let’s start this debate.
Khaki: Cakes are very yummy, like a friend of mine named Oldrekoronko. Case closed, a’nuff said.
Gregory: So lets play cake against cake, I sensor a revolution; bomb twitch bomb.
Khaki: Okay. Let us begin.
Skipping all the useless stuff (but needed, may’be unpunctuated) we go right to the end of this debate.
Khaki: Yes! I win. You loose, I know invite you to suck on my nose.
Severalgruellinguncivilized but well mannered and most appreciated tasks later, we come to the final task.
Chapter 8 – In the end – A thrilling climax
(Note: Rest of this is no longer in script form.)
Task 6 (You should say it in a deep, encouraging and dramatic voice.)
The guard states Khaki’s next and perhaps final task (unless of course the guard changes his mind.)
“Your task is to look at Oikinder Riyini’s picture for 10 whole minutes.” Dramatic Instrumental music playing in your mind, this time do not think of Jaws. However think of Jaws II.
Khaki retains a shockedtraumatized face. He crosses the border line, where he must sit down an watch, the picture of; Oikinder Riyini. Khaki sits and watches. There is no sudden movement. Khaki falls asleep. Out of pure boredom. Nothing more. Just boredom. Perhaps, may’be he is a bit irritated. Four minutes later, Khaki is rudely awaked but may’be of significance, may’be just may’be he has won the heart of many lonely men, those of many who have crossed zee border.
Regards,
A.F
As ZEE tasks loom large over him he takes a minute to remember his life. We now take a chapter of zee life of the Khaki.
He was born in Notting shire and lived on a small industrial place and lived with sheep.
He did not attend school but did so for 6 months at Gravy Education College for men.
He meet Norm Thomas William Bridal at a museum in ChicagoIllinois while visiting his grandmother and their both bounded straight away like good people do.
He recently served up the number 11 to Thomas (Norm), but in a twist of events backstabbed Thomas (Norm), and Oikinder Doug Herman Riyini and stabbed both Thomas and gunned down Doug. (Information is wrong on purpose.)
He also is recently been missing in a dream world I feel this is the end
Norm 24/11/92 _ 24/11/08 R.I.P
From the encyclopaedia of Down the well.
Khaki has finally finished his task, with several tears on his eyes, but now there is a dramatic twist. The guard has served up another task. (What a coward of a guard.)
Task 7 (most likely the final.)
(We return to script form.)
Guard: Apologize to Norm.
Khaki: Where is he?
Guard: You’re looking at him. (The guard is Norm, this is to bring tears to both men’s eyes.)
Khaki: (Looks uneasy, but deep down, knows what he had done was wrong.)
Guard: I’m waiting…
Khaki: I’m sorry…I should have been a better friend. Shall we start again?
Guard: Yeah, why not?
Khaki: Well may’be because I killed you, and now I’m friends with Beetroot Jr.
Guard: Who cares, lets just go.
So Khaki and Norm return to the real world, and walk off into sunlight.
(There may’be a chance for a second sequel. Signed: A.F)
(What a pointless story, no moral, no meaning, no real plot. A waste. Signed: S.V)
Thank you, everyone (all our fans.)
Applause.
Chapter 1- A bullet-point
One day in a canteen not to far away but quite far if you live in Scotland or just about near if you are Scottish. Khaki and Norm are working in ‘Burgers “R” Us’ they work for some guy named George Rhea. Khaki takes a break while Norm continues his shift. Khaki decides to eat at ‘Burgers “R” Us’.
“Do you have any mustard?” asks Khaki
“Yes.” Norm replies
“Can I have some?” Khaki asks
“What? What can you have some of?”
“Mustard”
“Yes. We have mustard.”
“Can I have some?”
“Can I have some?” Khaki asks
“What? What can you have some of?”
“Mustard”
“Yes. We have mustard.”
“Can I have some?” Khaki asks
“What? What can you have some of?”
“Mustard”
“Yes. We have mustard.”
“Can I have some?” Khaki asks
“What? What can you have some of?”
“Mustard”
“Yes. We have mustard”
“Khaki! You’re breaks over!” Shouts George.
“Uhh…okay”
Khaki goes back to his shift but on the way he looks on the floor and finds a 5p coin it reminds him of his old pal Omega David Sherman and his friend Oikinder Riyini, it brings a tear to his eye cause he left them for death in a well, not just any well…the well of no return. (Dramatic instrumental music playing in your head, think of Jaws)
Now, it is Norms turn to take a break, he asks Khaki which restaurant he went to.
“I went to see ‘Burgers “R” us’ it was a very profiting and professional outing. I also got some free walking talking mega pixel animated unrealistic profiting money making coffee breaking Tetley tea making and the end of life sunglasses (Your brain goes “Oohhhh” in an admiring way. But sub-human. Such noise should make Oikinder Riyini look human another tear comes to your face/eyeballs/other stuff/ pupils)”
“Cool, I’ll go to see this Burgers R Us.” Norm says.
Norm stands first in line to order from Khaki, but this isn’t no normal order he wants the number 11
“Eh, I want a number 11” says Norm
“Would you like some fries with that?” Khaki
“Did I ask for some fries? Retard.” Says Norm
“Breaking news the first number 11 is about be eaten/digested at ‘Burgers “R” Us’ this would be the first attempt for 52 years 345 days 13.2 hours 7.1 minutes and 13.7 seconds the last person who tried this was rumored to have suffered from depression after reaching course 10 of the number 11 order and fainted this would make HISTORY and I Duke P London would witness it yeah I am great whoo yeah yeah yeah whoo”
Chapter 2 – As Proud As Punch
As the species called Humans entered ‘Burgers “R” Us’ Norm gets his knife and fork out and puts on his blue/dark blue/light blue/natural blue/organic blue napkins or bib on as course 1 of the number 11 arrives to his serving or presences he looks up astonished at what he may achieve he may win a Oscar or best supporting eater.
The first course 3 cup cakes 2 bananas and 3 ½ decimals of pure organic dehydrated uncomfortable unconvincing animated un-mega pixel floppy driving scanning mouse irritating Ogunyinkaing porridge pie with a hint of vinegar but not too much but enough a sour but rewarding taste.
Norm begins by picking up 1 banana and 2 cup cakes ½ a decimal of pure organic dehydrated uncomfortable unconvincing animated un-mega pixel floppy driving scanning mouse irritating Ogunyinkaing porridge pie with a hint of vinegar but not too much but enough a sour but rewarding taste. He then smashes them all together while putting his big demented lips all over it, and leaving only 1 crumb (big enough to see, but not noticeable to see from 10 yards away) on the left-hand size of his moustache.
Then with great might he takes the remaining food that is present on the plate and scoffs it down him like it was never there, but unfortunately it was. Then he opens his jaws/mouth/teeth place/gob and breathes out and then lets out a big belch/burp. (You, the audience clap quietly like you’re at a golf match.) He looks uneasy. His right eyebrow out of position.
He looks at Khaki with a proud grin. Almost as proud as punch. Course two is now being served. It smelled like a blue birds behind (you may question; how do I know this?) The course arrives 5.9 seconds late with gathering audience getting irritated but the course arrives blazing hot chicken tikka Mazola curry with a hint of Marco and juvenile oat. This is perhaps the most disturbing dinner he has ever had, but he knows deep down he has to do it for him-self and his life long crush Leslie de Natalie. Who he has never had a decent conversation with, whatsoever. (You feel great pity for this poor soul, but you cheer him for his bravery.)
Norm begins part 2 of the course. He looks relieved, then he dumps his face into the plate, without warning. Then after just seconds the course has gone. He is heartburn. (Or Heart-broken.) AND then out of the mist appears a man form down a well…
Omega David Sherman.
(You’d expect Omega to be mad at Norm for leaving him for death, but he is not)
Followed by his co-star/mentor/helper/burden/assistant/chief/constable/comnmander/Norien Rasa/head of the committee…
Oikinder Riyini
(You applause him)
Oikinder removes his hand from his pocket and clenches his hand into a fist then moves it forward. Norm is not sure why. Then Norm suspects it is a safety sign. Then he gives him his RESPECT. This shows discipline and loyalty. Like to best chums.
Oikinder begins to talk to Omega; they both discuss Khaki and Norm’s character traits.
“You know Norm, don’t you? What’s he like?” Oikinder asks.
“Well…he like football enjoys annoying people…He loves fat food but is not fat himself, likes getting the better of people and is very awkward. He also enjoys Banta with the locals/public of Britain.” Omega replies.
“You know Khaki, don’t you? What’s he like?” Omega asks.
“Well he’s four pounds over-weight, he’s a Bat-Aholic.”
“What’s a Bat-Aholic?”
“Huge fan of anything to do with BATS. Such as Batman or The Sun newspapers”
“Okay, anything else?”
“Yeah, he loves food, is extremely cheap, doesn’t care much about allot of people, has crush on a girl that doesn’t like him her names Naomi Patrimony (a hot girl from his school) and I’ll leave it at that.”
“I’m going go talk to him”
“No, don’t do that! He smells like a dead gym sock in August the 28th”
Norm awaits his third course. He gets Broccoli, mushy peas and gravy. Lord Far-quad the fifth and most likely but not certainly the last, enters the restaurant. With unparallel socks and a recognizable beard. Lord Far-quad stands and watches on as Norm begins course 3 of 11. Norm takes the food into his hand without fear, he then stands up and shouts;
“LOOK AT ME!! TO IN-BROCOLLI AND BEYOND! YAH! TRICK YAH!”
And the next thing we know, Norm has stuffed everything down his throat. This is beginning to look like a very successful and profiting day.
12.23pm (A.K.A lunchtime, but not for you another finishing of this story awaits) and it was time for course four. Norm did not look good, but knew deep down he had no choice. He had to this. Not just for himself, not just for an Oscar…but for Oikinder Riyini, Omega David Sherman, Lord Far-quad and his good friend Khaki.
As the course came out a huge smell appeared out of nowhere. Oikinder Riyini was a former soldier of naval base in Moscow and a former leader/president of a cheap local unpromising mega pixel unbarring fully engine uninspiring Noreen razes western eastern the mother tongue not end of lifetime but lose to a steady but near end cake store. (This may have been a pointless exercise but at least it got you thinking.)
Course 4 contained a damaging course:
2 cheeseburgers, mozzarella sticks, chicken tenders, bacon, jalapeno poppers, French fries, mayo, hot sauce and lemon.
…all in one sandwich
(You’re brain may or might or is required/needed to say “Oooh” not a long “Oooh” but not a long “Oooh” just enough to make your brain tingle)
Norm looks UN-easy and dejected as he picks up the sandwich which I wont name because of legal tender reasons and because it is too long to write out again.
Chapter 3 – Norm, a packet of chips and bit of spice and needle
Norms looks at the sandwich for 32.9 ½ seconds perhaps 33 if you are lucky or precise; then he tries to intimidate the sandwich by calling it names such as;
Oikinder Riyini (Perhaps the ultimate insult)
Now he thinks/knows the sandwich is smaller and more vulnerable, he begins to dig in and straight away zee hot source went in Oikinder Riyini’s fat glasses and made him give out a big yarrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Norm does not apologize, instead he continues his course although deep down he knows he should apologize he’s not going to…there is way too much pride at stake. And his reputation will be scared/dented/destroyed/nailed/humiliated/trashed/forbidden/crippeled/false to submit/surrendering due to the lack of encouragement from his peers.
As he bits in to the sandwich of all sandwiches (for you the audience (our fans/the public/the media/and the pretzel) mightiest sandwich in the world, but just the world the universe and not just the universe either the galaxy, and not just the galaxy, the milky way and not even that far, past the northern lights.) his mouth watering over the sandwich, but not good water, bad water…but you can imagine it as good water.
Because this course is so long, we are not going to bother decrypting it/acknowledging what happened, but he did finish it, just after passing out for 15.2 ½ but perhaps even 2.9 ¼ minutes. This course is indeed finished.
(Suspenseful instrumental music submitting your background)
Course 5 arrives.
Bulldog gravy and biscuits with toxic/tonic waste material. (You feel tremendous pity for this poor soul, but I do not…so I will remove his pride as much as punch.
Regards,
S.V)
Norm is astonished at course 5. He thinks; Heaven help me…bulldog gravy and biscuits with toxic/tonic waste material.
(However unknown to his safety/well-being there is a needle inside his course/meal. You may care about him, so why don’t you hide behind the sofa from a safe and reliable distance, but not too far…just enough for you to be able to read this still. Now behind the sofa take out your warlike material and shout;
No Norm! Don’t do it!
Despite he cannot hear you; at least you looked like a retard. L.O.L (Laugh out loud, for those of you unknown to this text language))
Norm takes the wildcard, I mean course into his blender, which he just happened to have in his pocket(s)
“What a coincidence” Khaki says as he plucks his moustache.
He then blends the gravy and removes the substance then dumps everything into his mouth, without realizing he has a needle in it.
(Dramatic music in your head)
Norm then drinks the course, without noticing/spotting/indulging/identifying/DNA sampling of subject/mechanism the needle. The needle falls deep into his throat, but that deep just the deepest part of his throat. He tries to swallow it, but he’s too late. It is not the end of Norm. He begins to choke…will he make it? I bet you’re wondering. (Don’t worry, he may die in Chapter 11, there is a 51% chance he will, but you have to wait, for our great finale I hope, as this is so re-insuring.)
Khaki gets a front row seat, and takes some butter scotch pudding to enjoy what he hopes will be the death of Norm. Khaki notices the hot young female beside him, and then moves his hand towards her behind parts/her squishy cheeks. The woman looks at him with a horrid/shocked way, she slaps him so hard, he accidentally knocks Norm’s back and makes the needle squirt (like a flying hen from Arnica) out of Norm’s throat. Norm turns round in an attempt to thank Khaki, in a way only he knows best: a firm handshake/controlled handshake. This shows a sign of respect, loyalty and dignity and self – reservations. Khaki’s response is:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 4 – But is it art?
“Breaking news, Course 6 is about to start. More than half way there, Norm looks determined. No, he looks on edge, no wait he looks uneasy, and no wait he looks…I have no idea what he looks.”
Course 6, is being supplied to Norm and his plate/area/personal space/his private property. Course 6 defined a new meaning to “I can’t look is it over?”
Course 6 is Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch Dressing and some vinegar (always add vinegar it is the secret to a bad meal.) Norm looked on edge, he looks comfortable (the change of tense helps confuse the reader)
“Is this real food?” Norm asks
“You know, that reminds me of a joke. Then again…everything reminds me of a joke.” Khaki states/said/says/replies/responds/co-responds/
Norm began his devastating course, but before he could begin a photographer paused Norm and took a picture for the evening news. Khaki looked at the photographer, she had big chest parts. Khaki licked his lips, and moved forward without hesitation. Then he tripped over and fell into the woman’s chest parts. She looked shocked and pulled Khaki up, who had his hands squeezing her chest parts.
“Oh…thank you! I could have hurt myself if it weren’t for these.” Khaki thanks her.
The female photographer smacked Khaki with great force that he landed behind another hot woman who was wearing a skirt. Khaki likes women who were wearing a skirt, he stood and pulled out long stick he just happed to have in his pocket and began to use the stick to pull her skirt up and then began looking what he saw underneath.
“Oooh, ahhhhh, eeee, ahhhhhh” these were the strange noises that came from Khaki as he enjoyed his art. But is it art?
Norm begins to dig in to hisweapon of mass construction with the force then as he believes this is his offspring he states/claims/indulges/Noreen Razes/Against Oikinder Bookbinder Riyini/pro-claims/admits/and willing to tell that weapon of mass construction:
“I am you’re father.” With a sinister grin, tilted to the left, but may’be the right. Perhaps there is no tilt at all.
As he digs into the weapon of mass construction he lifts his right hand which has the sandwich in it he has it 3cm away from his jaw and 89 degree angle in the palm/figure of his thing with fingers. He inhales the aroma and absorbs it down deeply into his lungs with sheer force but very intelligently. He then puts the weapon of mass contusion into his mouth and trembles at the taste of it his face goes really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really
Pure slicing red raw. He lets it linger in his gob. He then swallows deeply but accidentally touching his throat. (You may wonder something strange, but I ask you; is it art?)
There is a small interlude (break) between the meals, the rest of the course will resume in 1 hour and 2 seconds with 6 decimals.
Khaki and Norm go out-side in an odd fashion way (like Oikinder Riyini’s first dramatic/dangerous/intelligent/recited/gathered/Noreen Rasa/profiting/rewarding/priceless (with everything else there’s MasterCard) no refunds available. Khaki and Norm go to their friends (Robert Dimension the second and hopefully the profiting end of him) to play with his new advanced epic mega pixel fully functioning no batteriessupplied/power needed helping global warming and echo friendly robot roomer (this is propaganda)
When they get into the house of all houses (you the audience, yes you, you goof-ball do nothing but continue to read) they forget to take their shoes off which leads to a brutal fight between Khaki and Norm for no real reason just who should take their shoes off first, this my friend is a battle of pride, dignity and justice (and for your good friend Oikinder Riyini.) The fight is epic, it’s breath-taking and in the end all that’s left is blood, sweat and a de-moralized/paralys community. A tragic ending to a tragic day.
But this is not the end of Khaki and Norm, no, no, no. And
NO!!!!!!!
Khaki walks toward the telephone, which lies on the desk. (By the way Khaki has a 4 millimetresscratch across the eye and with length of 6.5 decimals scratch near his right thigh) he then turns to Norm.
“Hey Norm, lets like do a prank call or something like that.”
“Uh, okay, but only if we blame Oikinder.” Norm replies.
“K.”
Khaki picks up the phone, then immediately begins running and laughing as he thinks he has fulfilled his destiny. Norm looks at Khaki and says:
“You did it!”
“Yeah!”
“Lets do it again!”
But this time he does it with sheer force and purpose like he has seen OkinawaRiana indulging his scent. He picks up the phone and dials a number. He has reached the Robot/Aroma Help line Etc.
“Hello, who is this?” asks the Receptionist.
“Uh, my name is…” Khaki is lost as he has forgotten his name. Norm then whispers;
“Don’t tell them our real names.”
“My name is Norm” says Khaki
“And my name is Khaki” says Norm
“And what’s your name ma’am?” asks Khaki
“Sheila, sir Ms. Sheila Hopkins. But you can call me Sheila, just Sheila. So how can I help, just help?”
“We’re like in trouble, and this is like a prank call. So we just did a prank you. HA HA HA HE HO AH HA with slice of gravy.”states Khaki.
“Very good, sir. I can hook you up with a psychiatrist if you like?” Replies Sheila.
“No way. You aren’tgoing to hook me up with some dude!” Shouts Norm.
“No, sir. This one has B.O like me.”RepliesSheila
“You’re messed up” says Khaki (To Sheila)
“Yeah. Who admits they have B.O?” says Norm
“Hey, Norm I Have B.O” says Khaki. Of Course this may just be an opinion.
Later….
Khaki and Norm return to Burgers R Us. Where Norm continues The NUMBER 11!
Course 7 is being served/delivered/ordered/given to Norm. It contains;
Sardines, Pizzas, grilled cockroaches, lizard flavoured noodles, runner beans, Oikinder Riyini’s sweaty socks and mild mannered photos.
Norm digs in to the seventh course (its called course of unknown. This course is not known to man) He looks at while he digs in to the course and whips away his sweat (Oikinder Riyini passes him his sweat Bandagalemasked sweatband he found round his aunt STEVIES house tramp)
After several courses…Norm finally reaches Course 10 of 11.
Course 10 of the deadly 11 was very cunning organizes purpose archivestructured immense as proud as punch ( please refer to chapter 2) 2 slices of out of date cheese from South Timbuktu, with 13 chips made from 2004 the date was printed as below:
Expires: 13/07/04
Chapter 5 – For What It Is…
Course 10 is called: Out of duty. This is a real name from the harvest festival of 2001 back in Paris/France/A country not in Britain but not to far from Dover but may’be far if your a seagull of a duck/pigeon searching for Arnica or Oikinder Riyini when he was down zee well but not any well the well of no return. Do you remember? Of course you remember.
Several un-misguiding zee words later…
Norm is half way trough course 10 and he is struggling beyond imagination. He looks very un-consistent. Then Norm looks like he’s about to faint but he doesn’t, he continues. Then just when you zee thought he had zee life in him…zee disaster happens.
A gang of perhaps 3 or 9 crooks enter (actually zee 4/3/9) enter zee premises. Without zee permission of zee staff. Zee crooks hit Norm in zee ribs with zee bat of all base-ball bats.
Several punches later…
Norm is lying on the floor in the pile of his own blood. He puts his arm up to show he still zee fighting spirit with-in him. Which came from his great great granddaughter…zee mighty un-human but relatable species of organic fresh country life butter…her name Rum Chum who likes drinking zee Rum. (A bit of poetry never hurt anyone)
Norm is then taken to Hospital where on news he has been shown to have surrendered eating the Order 11. Then a man named Cantle comes in from nowhere and beats Norm right arm down is serious injury and breaks it into 5 different parts. Leaving Norm fighting for his life (you shred/drop a tear) in intensive care.
Meanwhile…Khaki is kidnapped/gagged/fritted by Cantle and his posies. Oikinder follows in an attempt to rescue Khaki, but gets kicked in the ribs so hard his heart could feel it within the force of his gravy legged boots he brought from a tracking shop in North Hampton shire. Near a football ground called Carol Advisory Road. Omega advises Oikinder that it is too late, but Oikinder runs like the wind, gets on his four wheeler bike and pedals to save Khaki. But then he realizes he needs a bigger vocative/method of transport which is quicker than his four-wheeler, even though he loves his four-wheeler mechanism.
He threatens a taxi driver with his breath. Even though the taxi driver comes out without hesitation, Oikinder still breathes on him. Leaving the taxi driver wounded on the pavement in his own pile of blood, with a disfigured face.
Oikinder to zee rescue!
…of all missions.
...
(Do you the audience/public/crowd/our fans (thank you!)/the nationals/the people from different/alternative galaxies feel involved?)
“Breaking news, on channel 6 live at 6 on air at 6 with me Leon Minter, the AustralianEnglish but half Russian personals. A person named Oikinder Riyini who is very important and crucial to you and good great dictator who solves visual and muscle posture problems has been taken to intensive care next to Norm. After being hit by a Lorry that was full of petrol and dynamites. Alongside liquid bombs, with one or two rubber chickens with a 2% scribbled/squirrel (I used to have a pet squirrel named Dug DIVADONE he died when I looked at him, lol) stuffing’s. This is the 6’o clock news, so buckle up.”
Chapter 6 – A Radio-Transplant OF Horror and Anticipation with unit-climbing chemical paints
To skip the important stuff…Khaki successfully escaped, and killed those who kidnapped him/or injured him in any specific way (I’m not talking about anything personal…)
Khaki with evil intentions in mind (I’m sure) goes to the hospital to visit Oikinder and Norm, who have finally woken up. Khaki removes the gun from his pocket and thinks;
Should I be doing this? Should I be doing this?! No! I will kill not Norm. I mean I will kill Norm, and Oikinder just for the fun of it. YES! Death is coming. I will be victorious, I will blame everything on Omega David Sherman the fifth. Evil. Bad. Naughty. Useless.
Extinct! Just for fun. Signifying nothing…
As Khaki enters the room, sweat makes him uneasy, but not his sweat. Oikinder Riyini’s sweat. Khaki asks:
“Hi, Norm how’s it hanging? Blood.”
“I’m fine, Khaki.” Replies Norm.
“NO. You’re NOT!” shouts Khaki as he gets his six inch blade out along with his gun. And shoots Norm and stabs Oikinder (both die immediately) and runs, for a clean escape.
Minutes/Seconds/Anagrams later…
“Breaking news, well not so breaking. A brutal murder in North Ham piton shire has taken place where two hospital patients were killed. One was gunned down and the other was stabbed. We now cut live to the scene where police are giving a most efficient statement.”
The Major police officer says: “Hello my name if office P.CCornel Roger Jenkins of Tetley’s. I have came to zee most major decision in r planets existence I or me and my work mates fink dotdinosaurskilledOikinder Riyini and prom I mean Norm yeah, Norm…thank you.” (Yes, I know there are some mistakes but this cornel you see is a bit of a spasm.)
As the world with zee shocking developments one scientist Bret Ferris had to say the evidence saying that a dinosaur killed these two normal human but I think this was murder. Now, one man, will do the impossible. He will take the blame, in honour of the dinosaur (note: this is actually a dinosaur fossil that scientist believe killed Norm and Oikinder Riyini.
Omega David zee Sherman, jumps into the crime scene and says:
“Nay sir! It was I! I that killed these two. Not the dinosaur bones. Arrest me. I did it.” (GASP!)
Bret Ferris, enters from a camera in Poland and not so clearly says:
“As you can zee that dinosaur bones would not killed zee humans who as you can zee are dead zee and from my knowledge and your knowledge there are clearly only 2 real living created suspects one Omega David Sherman or Noreen Southward Jade Light For Brains Mega Pixel Illustration Noreen Rasa. So in this highly concluded conclusion Omega killed zee humans. I think.”
Omega is arrested and this case is closed, despite there being no real evidence.
As the police question Omega in a interview room.
“Do you sir carry a packed lunch box?”
“..error, no…yes, sir mama”
“Was that a yes or a no?”
“Not sure?”
“Can you please answer yes or no!”
“Well show off officer what do you want me to errors say chum are you Oikinder Riyini in disguise (a very insulting thing the most)”
“I am lost at what you are saying, please tell me if you carry a packed lunchbox or not?”
“I will let you in on zee truth of the box which is packed, for lunch you see it ain’t packed lunch. It should be called lunch in a packed booze (He means “Box”) zee”
“You spasm. To the cell.”
Meanwhile back at Burgers R Us. Omega’s wife enters and the whole room goes quiet…
“Excuse me I’m looking for David Omega Lionize Sherman.”
“Who is zee asking?”
“I am have you got a problem withthat” replies Omega’s wife.
“Err no sir I mean maam”says one of zee waiters
Khaki comes down stairs and takes a peek at omegas wife and starts getting sexual
“Hello goes Khaki with great effect and enthusiasm” says ________________
“Omegas wife looks around and walks to towards zee Khaki” (by zee way all this is being spoken by an observer, a close friend of Omega. His name is Beetroot Jr.)
Without warning/fear/intelligence/without further notice to members of staff/public/community Khaki leaps/jumps/gallops/asserts/preaches/indulges himself forward as he implants his body parts/gentle areas into (note, not saying the exact words makes it seem extremely erotic) as Khaki goes into Omega’s wife’s hand. She in turn slaps Khaki into another dimension. Where he sees Norm’s ghost.
“Where am I?” asks Khaki
“I am the ghost Norm of Normandy….woo…are you scared?” says Norm’s ghost.
“Oh shut up! You’re not fooling anyone…Omega’s wife”
“But I am his ghost. Woo, BOO!”
“Scream, gasp, no.” Khaki sarcastically says.
Chapter 7 – Norm and Riyini; is it art?
Khaki notices an exit to the alternate dimension, however this exit has a guard. Khaki approaches this guard.
(Note the rest of this story or chapter I will put in script form, or perhaps I will stop somewhere between or may’be I won’t or perhaps I will, we will see)
Graphic Tablet
Khaki: Does this exit bring me back to the world I came from, before I was pounded into this difficult challenging semi skimmed milk digital camera pompouspropaganda dimension with out meaning?
Guard: Yes, but we must have some basic knowledge of you. First of, I need letter from your third aunt, fifth cousin, and your oldest dog Potlatch the 2nd. Also you must past some very simple and basic not-complicated fruity-vicious fat boy Sander tasks. Do you confirm/reprint?
Khaki: (looks down, and thinks: will I ever get out of this?
I will do this!
I will DO this!
Cause I AM….
…(drum roll, please)
KHAKI!!
For my uncle Wilfred, who I also left down a well of no return back in the 18th Century in Guam! He, ho HA he.
(By the way, you can stop the drum roll now.)
Guard: I take it you accept then?
Khaki: Yes (with a face almost as proud as punch)
Khaki hands the letters over and asks what the first task is.
Guard: I need YOU NO, IN FACT I DEMAND YOU TO wrestle two not straight human like hyenas.
Khaki completes this task, detail:
Khaki takes on hyena one with fear in his right eye but left nostril he ain’t breathing to good and then a violent tail whip to his rib cage knocks him to the floor. Then he sees red and he stands up and uses his old pals Oiknder Riyini’s secret weapon: he stole he breath. He lets out the destructive massacre of Riyini breath which knocks both hyenas out and makes the crowd (you) go wild and suffer of B.O.
Khaki: How many tasks left?
Guard: Six.
Khaki: You what?
Guard: I what?
Khaki: Nothing. Nothing
(Khaki breathes directly, and bravely starts to ask what his next task is.)
The next task is clearly told by the guard;
Guard: Have a debate about cake, and you must emerge victorious. You are debating against the master of debaters GregoryLucifer.
Gregory: You sir, will not win against my mighty spotty doom of pimps with redness.
Khaki: Look at him and puts zee bad breath of his back into his gob which is were all of zee junk food goes after a late night out though zee one de only his uncle stew who he left down a well after a massive food fight between him and zee herd of buffalos.
Gregory: Let’s start this debate.
Khaki: Cakes are very yummy, like a friend of mine named Oldrekoronko. Case closed, a’nuff said.
Gregory: So lets play cake against cake, I sensor a revolution; bomb twitch bomb.
Khaki: Okay. Let us begin.
Skipping all the useless stuff (but needed, may’be unpunctuated) we go right to the end of this debate.
Khaki: Yes! I win. You loose, I know invite you to suck on my nose.
Severalgruellinguncivilized but well mannered and most appreciated tasks later, we come to the final task.
Chapter 8 – In the end – A thrilling climax
(Note: Rest of this is no longer in script form.)
Task 6 (You should say it in a deep, encouraging and dramatic voice.)
The guard states Khaki’s next and perhaps final task (unless of course the guard changes his mind.)
“Your task is to look at Oikinder Riyini’s picture for 10 whole minutes.” Dramatic Instrumental music playing in your mind, this time do not think of Jaws. However think of Jaws II.
Khaki retains a shockedtraumatized face. He crosses the border line, where he must sit down an watch, the picture of; Oikinder Riyini. Khaki sits and watches. There is no sudden movement. Khaki falls asleep. Out of pure boredom. Nothing more. Just boredom. Perhaps, may’be he is a bit irritated. Four minutes later, Khaki is rudely awaked but may’be of significance, may’be just may’be he has won the heart of many lonely men, those of many who have crossed zee border.
Regards,
A.F
As ZEE tasks loom large over him he takes a minute to remember his life. We now take a chapter of zee life of the Khaki.
He was born in Notting shire and lived on a small industrial place and lived with sheep.
He did not attend school but did so for 6 months at Gravy Education College for men.
He meet Norm Thomas William Bridal at a museum in ChicagoIllinois while visiting his grandmother and their both bounded straight away like good people do.
He recently served up the number 11 to Thomas (Norm), but in a twist of events backstabbed Thomas (Norm), and Oikinder Doug Herman Riyini and stabbed both Thomas and gunned down Doug. (Information is wrong on purpose.)
He also is recently been missing in a dream world I feel this is the end
Norm 24/11/92 _ 24/11/08 R.I.P
From the encyclopaedia of Down the well.
Khaki has finally finished his task, with several tears on his eyes, but now there is a dramatic twist. The guard has served up another task. (What a coward of a guard.)
Task 7 (most likely the final.)
(We return to script form.)
Guard: Apologize to Norm.
Khaki: Where is he?
Guard: You’re looking at him. (The guard is Norm, this is to bring tears to both men’s eyes.)
Khaki: (Looks uneasy, but deep down, knows what he had done was wrong.)
Guard: I’m waiting…
Khaki: I’m sorry…I should have been a better friend. Shall we start again?
Guard: Yeah, why not?
Khaki: Well may’be because I killed you, and now I’m friends with Beetroot Jr.
Guard: Who cares, lets just go.
So Khaki and Norm return to the real world, and walk off into sunlight.
(There may’be a chance for a second sequel. Signed: A.F)
(What a pointless story, no moral, no meaning, no real plot. A waste. Signed: S.V)
Thank you, everyone (all our fans.)
Applause.
