R.I.P Norm

Welcome back to the world of Khaki & Norm. Currently in our series Norm has just died from cancer (and at such a young age) and Khaki is walking home just after the funeral had ended.

 

Khaki: I think things are looking up for me. Norm is dead; and ah, what a beautiful day! The clouds are as grey as can be, the sky looks like shit, the hailstones are hitting me hard and cutting my skin it’s too good to be true!

 

Norm’s ghost is walking beside Khaki however Khaki and any other mortal cannot see him due to the human mind’s ignorance of such existence. However, should Norm wish it to be then Khaki will be able to see him. Moreover, this is actually a fact as when we look back at the history of things that are supernatural we will find that they are beyond comprehension. Please allow me to explain: In ancient egypt along time ago there was a pharoh named ah tissuesneezreo he told his men to believe in the supernatural and he said it was fact since, then we must believe that what he said is a fact otherwise we may face having.

 

I hope you can understand whatever language that was written in. Because I certainly didn’t understand any of it (despite writing it.)

 

Norm is bored AND decides to LeT KhAkI sEe HiM dEsPiTe It BeInG aGaInSt tHe LaWs Of ThE sUpEr-NaTuRaL (they disprove of this and to show their anger they have forced me to write like I just did, you know with that caps on and off thing….)

 

Norm’s ghost: Hey Khaki, I’m like a ghost and stuff.

 

Khaki: That sucks.

 

Norm’s ghost: Really? I thought it was pretty cool.

 

Khaki: Oh no that’s cool, it just sucks that I thought I was finally rid of you and then you just pop up out of nowhere. Perchance you have met Oikinder Riyini?

 

Norm’s ghost: No. He’s like dead…did you just try to change the subject? Anyway, I need your help. I want to know who killed me!

 

Khaki: You died of cancer.

 

Norm’s ghost: Dude chill that was just a cover-up. I never had cancer, I just did it to stop the police from investigating. I wanted to find the killer myself and when I do, I’m gonna kick his touché.

 

Khaki: Touché?

 

Norm’s ghost: I was meant to say touché. No damn-it! The writer is censoring anything rude that I say! He making this a kid’s story. We need to get back to the maturity of the other stories that we starred in. (He’s lying, they weren’t mature, just plain silly)

 

Khaki: Whoa! Where did you shave your legs? They look-in hot doll….

 

Norm’s ghost: Umm, some guy called Gilmore he was like an expert at it. You want to meet him? He lives down Lansbury Avenue. So like, who killed me?

 

Khaki: I did. You were pissing me off, so I stabbed you with my pencil when you weren’t looking.

 

Norm’s ghost: How did I piss you off?!

Khaki: You went to sleep at 2.45am you wussy. And our bedtime is at 2.50am. You dick.

 

Norm’s ghost: Oh. I’m sorry. Can you ever forgive me?

 

Khaki: Not unless you meet these demands.

 

Norm’s ghost: Sure, I will do it.

 

Khaki: Cool. My demand is that you stop being a ghost and go away.

 

Norm’s ghost: K.

 

Norm’s ghost disappears out of Khaki’s view. Khaki’s face sketches a huge smile. The grin on his face is diabolical. Khaki continues his journey home.

 

Khaki: Glad that’s over with. Now I can enjoy my life without that “skipsophernic” (I don’t know how to spell that word) psychopath.

 

Khaki is sitting in his sofa at his and what used to be Norm’s house. He is eating popcorn watching the movie; Sex, the effective way…

 

Khaki: This movie rules. I should practice these moves with the couch.

 

Norm enters the house, he looks normal (well, normal for him anyway) his appearance does not startle us.

 

Khaki: How comes your not a ghost anymore?

 

Norm: You told me to stop so I had put my spirit back into my body and I came out of my gravestone, I decided it would be better if I died another day instead.

 

Khaki: Your stupid.

 

Norm looks at the time. It is 2.45am.

 

Norm: I’m going off to sleep now.

 

Norm walks off and heads towards his bed. He is fast asleep. We now go to Khaki who is….

 

 

 

                                                               THE END

 

NOTE TO THE READER: WHEN READING ANY OF THE KHAKI AND NORM STORIES IT IS PROBABLY BEST THAT YOU FORGET ALL LOGIC AND JUST GO ALONG WITH THE STORY. THE PURPOSE OF THESE STORIES IS TO DEFY LOGIC.